The Summoning
by AlyCat3
Summary: Ten year old Harry has no one in his life, and he's never believed otherwise, until there was a flash of green light, and this one hadn't come from his dreams. A reading the books fanfiction that contains no actual text from the books.
1. The Summoning

I've made the executive decision, that this is hard. Who would have thought a chapter a week would take up so much time! I even went around and wrote out some of the break scenes for these characters...and realized I was enjoying that more than the actual chapters. Therefore, I've posted those, and marked this fic as complete. Someday I might come back and try again to do all seven of these suddenly monstrously huge books, but for now I'll simply recommend a much more dedicated author bookhater who has almost completed these. Thanks so much for all the support you've given!

* * *

Dumbledore was in his office, looking fondly down at Fred and George Weasley from his study as McGonagall explained that she'd felt she had no choice but to bring them up here after they'd gone and convinced one of the students to have a go at the Whomping Willow. Perhaps they should consider having that removed now-

...

Tonks was standing in line, shaking from her bright hair to her steel boots, waiting for her name to be called any moment to take a test that would define her career. Behind her was a Ravenclaw she only knew of by name from all of their shared classes but had never spoken to, in front of her was a tall boy, Slytherin, who she was trying to chat casually with without stuttering too much. The students who had been called in ahead of them refused to say what their N. E. W. T. instructors had them doing, so they hadn't even a clue of what was to come. Tonks had just locked eyes with Charlie at the back of the que, and gave him a nervous grin when-

...

Remus was asleep, or at least trying to be. He lay out on the cot, thankful he had two more nights before he had to deal with his monthly fear yet again, and yet every day it wasn't that night still felt like a waking nightmare. The kind old woman who was now offering him room and board in exchange for his helping out around her property would soon recognize the patterns of his disappearance, would grow suspicious of him like everyone else. He should leave now, save himself the trouble before she thought too deeply. Yet still he lay curled up under his blanket, his mind always elsewhere, where he never wanted it to be, then-

...

Sirius was where he always was, and probably always would be. He didn't bother closing his eyes much anymore, he saw the same thing on the inside of his lids as he did when they were open. The death of his brother, in all but blood, and who had caused it. It was all he saw anymore. Even if the dementors didn't live right outside, just out of distance but always present as a chill that would never leave him, he would always see that too pale skin and the look of shock on his face. He tried, futilely, to think of anything else, but all that accomplished was yet another man coming to mind, but this one hurt worse. Because he believed he'd done it, and if ever he saw him again, he'd kill him on sight, or at least Sirius hoped he would as he knew he deserved it. This wasn't helping either, so he finally decided he was done with his thoughts and tried to crawl to his feet to change instead as it happened.

...

Hermione was crossing the street on the way to the library. It was the first time her parents were letting her go anywhere all by herself, and as it was only a block away it was hardly the adventure she so enjoyed reading about, but still, she walked with just a touch more spring in her step for how grown up she felt. Her foot was coming up to step onto the curb until-

...

Ron was outside playing with his dad. It was finally the Saturday he'd been promising for ages that he'd teach Ron how to properly catch and throw back the Quaffle. If Ron was good enough, he'd even try to convince his mother that he could have a go on an age old broom they had around the house. They were going to have to sell it come the end of summer, so Ron was being persistent that his father let him try it out now. No need to inform him the twins had given him a ride on theirs over the summer, his dad would just think that Ron was a natural right off the bat. The red ball was in mid toss between the two, but then it wasn't.

...

Harry was in his cupboard under the stairs, watching a spider fix a web between the hinge and the corner. He was whispering to it, couldn't let the Dursleys hear him being any louder of course, telling it about his day at school and the English report he had due tomorrow. The spider didn't answer of course, and after a awhile Harry lost interest in that and was instead left to turn restlessly in his bed to face the wall. He pictured himself telling this to a nameless, faceless person instead, perhaps someone who would respond. He'd lost times of wishes he'd made he could be telling his own parents this, what they would have said back. Face hidden from everything, he strained his mind back, just wanting to remember a small piece of them, but for all his trouble he received what he always had, a flash of green light. Then he blinked his eyes sharply behind the glasses, to find he wasn't in his cupboard anymore.


	2. Break Time

Takes place after The Letters from No One

* * *

Neville, who had taken the seat next to Harry, looked surprised when Harry offered him the book.

"Did you want to read," Harry asked when Neville continued hesitating. "I guess you don't have to, but everyone's probably going to at some point."

Neville couldn't help but be a little flustered at being spoken to so directly by the Boy Who Lived, but finally did manage to say, "err, yes alright."

Before he could get started though, Remus kindly interrupted, "actually, how about we stop for the night, it's getting rather late."

Arthur quickly agreed with a sideways glance at Harry himself, but the moment everyone made as if to start leaving Sirius darted out first.

Remus wanted to follow after him, still struggling between giving him his space and trying to pitifully explain himself, and nearly walked past the table of food in his distraction to go back towards the bedrooms. Then he did a double take and realized what he was seeing.

"Oh that's fair," Tonks scoffed as she eyed the feast. "Our magic won't work, but this place'll supply us with food. Anybody else starting to feel hinky about this place?"

"Starting to," Charlie frowned at the turkish delight, his favorite dish, which didn't feel like a coincidence. "I was the moment we got zapped in here."

"Well what are we supposed to do," Remus asked, scratching absently at his face as he eyed the meal, "starve?"

"Unless someone wants to guinea pig it," Tonks smirked.

"Perhaps we should-" Dumbledore began but was cut off by a panicky Arthur screaming, "Ron!"

The youngest Weasley, who clearly hadn't been listening to a word, had wandered over to the food as well and grabbed a fistful of crisps and began popping them in his mouth, having just offered some to Harry when his dad startled him so bad he coughed and nearly choked on one. Despite his panicky family though, nothing obviously bad was happening to him.

There wasn't too much deliberation after that, as Dumbledore finished what he'd been trying to say, "I do not believe we are in any harm in this place. If we are to be here for however long it is ordained, than obviously we need sustenance." Dumbledore reached over and plucked a cherry from a candied ham and popped it in his mouth, chewing with emphasis.

Most arguments faded out after that, the food smelled to delicious to pass up.

Harry took a seat uneasily between Ron and Neville again, but any feelings of awkwardness died down as they all shared the food. Harry had never realized he'd felt starved at the Dursleys, but he'd certainly never been allowed to have as much of whatever he wanted, and the plates kept refilling until everyone was satisfied. All except for one, which Remus had oddly been setting aside, and it wasn't until Harry finished his own plate did he realize that that Black character had never made a reappearance.

Harry felt bad for not noticing this earlier of the man who'd clearly been keeping an eye on him for whatever reason he still couldn't figure out, but he'd been rather distracted talking to those his own age. Though Neville and Ron would occasionally say something that went straight over Harry and Hermione's head, the four discovered that they actually enjoyed chatting and even having come from such different up bringing's found they had a lot in common.

Now though as Harry's eyes started feeling droopy with such a proper meal, he was looking around for some sort of clue as to where a place to sleep would be when he'd noticed the missing person, and so was the first to notice when Remus took the plate and left through the door. Hoping that's where the bedrooms where, he got to his feet, walked that way, hesitated and waited for someone to call him back, but when no one did he kept going.

He quickly found the hallway lined with doors, and while he noticed Remus making his way to the last one, Harry didn't really want it to look like he was following him, so he slipped into the first available room. It was circular with a four poster bed that looked comfier than Harry had ever seen. Behind it was a closet stocked with clothes, and he'd been getting so many odd looks for his wardrobe he decided it may be best to try some on in the morning. For now he was so exhausted that he slumped down onto his bed, and remained passed out for quite some time, until a churning in his stomach abruptly started.

...

"Glory Sirius!"

Sirius didn't even glance up from the mirror, he'd probably already seen me in the reflection, but I couldn't help it. He'd clearly been in the bathroom this whole time, because his hair was dripping wet, and much shorter than I'd ever seen it. He must have found something to cut off the mounds of tangles, though he'd hardly done a clean job as it was still uneven and sloppy, though less ruly looking.

It was the rest of him that was so shocking. He was only wearing a pair of loose pants that showed off his concave stomach and protruding bones. Along with his mind, Azkaban seemed to have starved every last drop of fat right off of him. His skin was devoid of color, like all that had been sapped away as well. If Remus didn't know better, he'd have called him a vampire.

Sirius quickly tugged a shirt on over himself, turning to glare at him with arms crossed, his nose twitching as he zeroed in on the food.

Remus held it out, knowing it wasn't much of a peace offering, but still saying, "Look Sirius, I know this didn't start by my choice, but I really do want-"

He turned on his heel, walked out the door, and slammed it shut behind him.

Remus sighed, not exactly surprised, but definitely at his wits end tonight. He set the plate on the bed and left as well.

Sirius didn't know where he was going, but he knew he didn't want to be alone in a room with him. His feet dragged him back towards the bathroom, the only place so far he'd been able to find some peace. Being alone in a cell for so many years made being surrounded by all of these people a real freak out on his mind.

He passed all the rooms, not meaning to but cataloging who'd been inside each one. The red headed boy and the other kid his age who wasn't Harry were chatting in one, that Tonks girl and the Muggleborn were having some whispered conversation in another. He couldn't help but pause at one he could tell Dumbledore was in, peaking inside and finding the man sitting on the bed, eyes closed and fingers pressed together as if in prayer, though Sirius suspected it was more like deep thought. The last room housing voices was the two eldest Weasley's, he could hear they sounded stressed as they discussed whatever but Sirius really wasn't listening for specifics.

Finally Sirius' feet made it, but he paused before pushing the door open as he heard retching. His mind went back, he realized who he hadn't seen, and without further ado shoved the door open.

It was still disorienting to see James, not James. He'd only ever gotten to see Harry as the toddler he was, and even memories of him like that had all been slipped away. Now he could have been looking at an old photo of his best friend, leaning over a toilet and vomiting.

Sirius stood in the doorway, feeling panicky and at a total loss what to do as Harry's shoulders heaved, but then Sirius' feet were moving without command, and he was leaning down beside Harry and snatching his glasses away before they could fall into the bowl of sick, his hand wanting to reach out and pat the kids back in sympathy or something before quickly snatching that back away.

"Are you okay?" His face twitched with the force of his own stupid question before he quickly added on, "what made you sick?"

Harry reached up blindly for the handle, flushing the toilet and the smell as he sat back, rubbing at his lips and squinting at him as he muttered, "think I ate too much."

He gave one last spat into the porcelain before getting to his feet and unsteadily making his way to the sink. Sirius kept hovering and watching his progress, wishing he'd darted off to get him some water or something, but Harry took matters into his own hands and dipped his mouth below the faucet, swirling that around a bit before spitting that out as well. He wiped his mouth one more time with the sleeve of his too large shirt, and held his hand out for his glasses.

Sirius quickly handed them back, licking his lips with nerves as it finally occurred to him this was the first time he'd had an alone moment with Harry. So many things he wanted to say to his Godson built up in his throat, but each of them failed as he kept studying a boy he should know better than himself. Instead he was left wondering what that pucker of his lips was, why he had that crease above his brows as he studied Sirius right back.

Finally as the awkward silence continued to drag on and Sirius felt compelled to say _something,_ he blurted out, "I know what you mean. It's why I skipped dinner, if I'd gorged myself I'd be sharing your spot." Oh yes, brilliant idea Sirius, share your miserable time in Azkaban with the kid, spiffing start!

Harry didn't seem too concerned with the topic though, actually giving a small smile as he said, "well you look better doing whatever you did, more human."

Then he blushed, realizing after the fact that had probably been rude, but Sirius cracked an honest grin and brushed at his hair, nodding and admitting, "Figured I should take the benefits while we're stuck here."

Harry rocked back on his heels and glanced at the door, then back to Sirius. If he had to guess, Sirius thought Harry wanted to ask him something, but whatever that came out didn't seem to be it, he seemed to have lost his nerve at the last second. "Well, I'm back off to bed."

Sirius pursed his lips tight, but he'd always had a terrible compulsion control, so blurted without thinking, "you should still have something in your stomach though."

Harry turned back around curiously, so Sirius quickly tried to shrug off his concern and turn it into a joke, "dry heaves are the worst, trust me. You should go back to the kitchen, sip a little water, eat something extremely light, like crackers. In case you have a relapse."

Those dark green eyes had been haunting his nightmares for the past ten years, that look of fear traced into his mother's orbs the last time Sirius had ever seen them, but looking at Harry's now, wide and quizzical, Sirius actually felt something ebbing into him he hadn't felt in he'd lost track of the years. He was worried Harry had taken his concerned suggestion as an order though, because he turned towards the kitchen without remark.

Sirius followed after, feeling like kicking himself for not somehow phrasing this like a question and trying to reword it in his head. When they got to the kitchen though, Harry spoke up first, "do you know me?"

When Sirius didn't immediately answer, Harry turned back to face him with a bowl of nuts in his hand. There were so many ways Sirius wanted to answer that, but all he could imagine was the hate, and fear that would appear on his face when he found out what Sirius had done to his parents. He already had to deal with Remus thinking all that, he really couldn't stand Harry doing so as well. When he didn't answer, Harry had supplied himself with a glass of water as well and taken a seat at the table while he was talking, and Sirius hesitantly joined him while Harry kept going "it's just that, you've been watching me the whole time we've been here, but not, you know, creepy. Like, like the strangers that passed me on the street sometimes and seemed to know me, you kind of look at me like that, but also..." he trailed off expectantly, as Sirius had just bolstered himself to open his mouth even though he still had no idea what would come out when Harry tried a new tactic. "How come all those people recognize me anyways? Is there some picture of me all wizards have?"

"Well I know there's a statue."

Both boys jumped and looked around to see Remus standing there in the doorway looking curiously at them.

Sirius felt his face freeze over as he turned away even as Remus kept going, "and Merlin do you look like your father, which I suppose is a general answer, but it doesn't depict you with a scar, and I can't answer for the strangers who wouldn't know you by sight."

Harry looked from Sirius to Remus, he'd long since noticed like everyone else the tension between the two, but still Harry was turning Remus' words in his mind over and was far more curious by what that could mean. He didn't know what it was, normally he wouldn't have dared ask any questions to begin with, but so far no one here had told him off for it, and so he decided he'd keep asking as long as he could. "Why would you know me by sight, without it?"

Remus flushed in shock as he tried to stutter out, "ah, err, well I-" he faltered, his eyes flickered to Sirius and away, then he sucked in deep breath and admitted, "I knew your dad."

Harry's eyes lit up like never before, suddenly watching him with a whole new longing he'd never known. Harry had never met anyone who even knew his parents in passing! Which is why he was all the more disappointed when Remus gestured vaguely back behind him and muttered, "it's getting late, I should-"

Then he left without further ado.

Harry slumped back in his chair, picking restlessly at the bowl of nuts before popping a few more in his mouth, sipping the last of his water, but finally turning back to Sirius and asking, "Was it something I said?"

Sirius watched him for a long time, then gave one last look towards the shadowed door, his mind grappling for a moment because he didn't want to lie, but then deciding it wasn't that far from the truth when he grumbled, "don't ask me, I never really knew him."

* * *

Don't worry, Sirius is still really pissed and that seems really harsh because of it, but I promise I'll force them to have an actual conversation during the next break...just deciding when that's going to happen. For now, hope you enjoyed the interlude, more reading next time.


	3. Not so nice Lunch Break

Takes place after Halloween

* * *

Sirius was still broiling at feeling dismissed, but before anything else could be said he was interrupted.

"Before we start the next chapter, how about some lunch," Arthur offered, he'd seen Ron rubbing at his stomach and always knew what that meant.

Most everyone happily agreed at once, and Arthur took no notice as Black once again seemed to decide he was going to skip the meal. Arthur did notice Harry watching him go with another disappointed look, and Arthur wanted to blame Black no matter how illogically for the fact that Harry once again hardly ate a bite. What was it that made Harry so clearly want that convict around?

Dumbledore seemed to notice as well, as once he'd finished his plate he left in search of the man.

He found him in his room again, but wasted no time beating around the bush as he said, "you have something you wish to say to me Sirius?"

Those darkened gray eyes were still sharp as ever, no matter the extra shadows his stint had given him. Sirius took to his feet at once, pacing in front of his bed for a few moments before he hissed, "yes, yes I do. What right do you have keeping Harry at those Dursleys? I'm his godfather, which I have every intention of telling him when I'm let out, and then it'll be Harry's decision to leave that place, which I know he'll want to." That last part was spoken with more bravado than he truly felt, after all Sirius had nothing to offer Harry, but he was sure that it must still be better than what he had there which was more nothing on top of abuse.

"I do not think that wise-" Dumbledore began, his tone pleading caution, but Sirius fired up even more.

"I don't give a damn what you think! I was loyal to you, did everything you asked, and you couldn't even be bothered to get me a trial! I sat in there for ages before I finally realized no one was coming for me! And what on earth did you say to Remus to have him thinking I'd done this as well!"

Dumbledore's voice cracked like thunder as he stated back in no uncertain terms, "You cannot blame anyone but yourself for your time in that prison. I was never informed of the switch, and your rash actions are what got you caught when you said nothing to anyone. It is not right for you to be blaming me, and Remus, for your temper. Now I said I would see to it you were released for the wrongful imprisonment, but if you continue acting in this manner Black then I feel I will have to take certain precautions to see if the damage done to you is too late to fix." Clearly he found the matter settled, as he spun on his heel for the door.

Sirius blanched and stumbled back in shock as he realized what Dumbledore was implying, and then decided he had no other choice but to keep his mouth shut as Dumbledore left. Sirius didn't realize his knees were shaking until he'd sunk down onto the bed, moving to run his hand through his hair in an age old habit, but then hissing in pain as he used his damaged hand that wasn't happy touching anything.

He sensed him approaching before he came in, but even then he still couldn't bring himself to reacting as Remus came into the room with another plate of food. He stood awkwardly in the doorway, shuffling his feet and clearly waiting for something, but Sirius wasn't going to help him. So what if he'd finally proved he did care about Harry, he'd had ten years as a free man to act on that and had done nothing about it. Sirius wanted to blame him as much as Dumbledore for Harry being at the Dursleys, Remus should have done something to keep Harry out of there. As the last Marauder standing, the least he could have done was checked in on Harry instead of letting whatever form of abuse was going on continue.

Remus watched the hate curling on Sirius' features, and he knew he deserved every second of it, but still he swallowed around a dry throat and couldn't stop himself pleading, "I know it doesn't mean much, but I'm sorry."

Sirius did look over at him then, blinking in surprise.

Remus played back through that first conversation between the two, and he realized he hadn't apologized! He'd been so shocked about everything else, he'd thought it a million times in a second in his head, but he hadn't actually apologized to Sirius yet!

Quickly stumbling forward and nearly spilling all the food off the plate, Remus started repeating that as many times as he could also around getting out, "Sirius, I really am- I don't know how to say it enough, but I am so sorry. For letting you, for thinking that you-"

Something twitched in that lifeless face, Remus wanted to believe it was even something resembling forgiveness even if he never again deserved it, but then his face closed back off into the emotionless mask he'd been housing for the majority of his time here and still said nothing.

When finally Remus stammered himself into silence, he offered the plate as a modicum of a peace offering, whispering, "you ever going to actually eat?"

Sirius reached awkwardly forward and took the plate with his less dominant hand, but set it aside on his bed without comment.

Before he could forget, Remus also showed what was in his other hand, even though it was already slowly starting to drip making it fairly obvious, "I ah, got you some more ice too, hope the swellings been going down."

Sirius plucked a bit of fruit from the plate and didn't even acknowledge it.

Clearly pleasantries weren't making an impact, and Remus was honestly starting to feel a bit of his temper rise. Okay, fine, if he was going to be that way, he'd go right for the jugular of the problem. "Sirius, what happened to-" he cut himself off there, because he couldn't figure out how to end that. Peter just sounded too casual for the blood lust he wanted.

Sirius seemed to understand anyways as he whispered, "dead. Blew himself up in the explosion."

Remus felt his shoulders sag for more than one reason. Number one of which was that he'd gotten an answer. By this time he'd half convinced himself Sirius would never speak directly to him again! There was also some lingering shock that anyone he knew could die in such a way, but not a very small part of him was also doing a victory dance, while the rest of him was honestly disappointed he hadn't suffered more for what he'd done.

Sirius was still poking the food on the plate restlessly, clearly only begrudgingly doing that but looking for something to do other than look at Remus, but Remus wasn't going to stop now that he'd gotten even one toenail into Sirius again. "You ah, you going to tell me what really happened-"

"No." Came the flat reply.

Remus rankled at that, he really was getting angry now. He'd never deny Sirius had a right to his anger, but dammit it all if Remus was going to stand here and be deprived of something he had a right to. "What do you mean no? I want to know what happened Sirius-"

"Then go ask Dumbledore," came the icy reply, and if Remus hadn't been watching him he would have been sure that voice had come from a complete stranger. "That's where you get all of your real facts from isn't it."

Remus took a step back as if Sirius had just stabbed him. He was in fact sure that's what had just happened. And yet... again Sirius was right. He had believed Dumbledore over Sirius, he should have come to Azkaban long before now and heard his best friend's side of the story, but he never had because he'd believed Dumbledore.

Sirius clearly cared nothing for whatever state Remus was in, finally choosing a piece of meat with the most fat on it, still dripping from juices, and tearing into it so violently it looked almost canine. Moments later and the majority of the food was gone as well. He stood with the plate in hand and left Remus standing there, more lost than before.

* * *

Okay, so I kind of lied that they'd have an 'actual' conversation, but you can't really expect me to resolve this already, right? Well, I'm not, this is going to be a long standing problem that I probably won't really resolve until like, after book three maybe, but also I'm not going to be able to resist poking the two in the meantime for reactions.


	4. Trying

Takes place after The Man with Two Faces

* * *

"You're looking better than I'd have thought, considering tonight and all."

"How did you know," he began spluttering in surprise.

Sirius forced a mock twisted expression of his old friendly smile onto his face as he whispered, "I had bars, I could still watch the moons cycle like old times. It's the only thing the dementors couldn't take away from me."

Remus felt a lot of things flush through him in that moment, but still he managed to stutter out a response without any of it cracking through, "I ah, no. I don't think I'm a danger. Somehow, this place, I can just feel that the moon hasn't changed, it's not full. I can still feel that there's two days left until then."

Sirius nodded once, abruptly as if trying to end the conversation there, and went back to his food. His hand still seemed too stiff, he wasn't curling his fingers all the way around the spoon and so holding it awkwardly for several moments before simply switching it to his other hand.

"Oh would you let me," Remus sighed in exasperation, and despite Sirius pulling his hand away in protest, Remus still caught it and moved the knuckles around under the light, then tracing his thumb over them before deciding, "jeez, I think I actually cracked the bone."

He glanced up, an apology on his lips, when the words died in his throat. It was the first time they'd genuinely met eyes, gray met green with a thousand unspoken words between them. Sirius broke first, his eyes flicking back down to his hand where Remus' thumb was still tracing over the bruised skin, and before he'd given it a second thought Sirius was back out of the room.

Remus groaned and let his forhead smack against the table, wondering how long this was going to last.


	5. The Fallout

Takes place after The Marauders Map

* * *

"You lied to me!" Harry shoved his hand away at once, the worst anger Sirius had ever seen in his life written on the most precious face to him. "You said you didn't really know Remus! What else have you been lying about!"

Sirius closed his eyes in pain, wanting more than anything to go back and take the hateful comment away. He should have realized by now speaking out of spite did nothing! Yet he'd long since known by now wishing gave you nothing, so instead he desperately tried to explain, "I was angry! Remus, Harry you've got to understand, Remus and I-" he pulled at his hair in frustration, but Harry was still watching him, his arms shaking with rage but he was still standing there, so Sirius just started blurting out words. "I hated him for abandoning me in Azkaban, for not coming to see me, hear my side of things. I sat around in Azkaban for ages before I realized Dumbledore, no one gave a damn what I had to say happened! I was being hateful when I said that, but your'e right," he hastily said when Harry's look started to waver a bit and he wanted to make this point clear. "You are entirely correct Harry, I shouldn't have said something so mean spirited. I did know Remus," he stopped, took a deep breath, and spoke from the heart, "I still do. Even after all these years, even though I don't really deserve it anymore, he's still been there for me."

Harry looked wrong footed now, like he wasn't sure how he was supposed to feel as he asked, "why wouldn't you deserve it anymore? If you didn't do that to my dad, then-"

"I as good as," Sirius brokenly whispered. "I, I made a mistake Harry, I trusted the wrong person and it's cost you everything, and I can't ever ask you to forgive me for that."

Harry wished he could still here the rest of this, but he thought he pieced it together himself anyways. Sirius had trusted Pettigrew over Remus and something had gone wrong. He just couldn't blame that on Sirius though, so instead he spoke up, "what about not telling me you're my godfather? That's a lie by omission."

He still wasn't sure how he felt about that one. It felt like a dream come true, that there was anyone else out there besides the Dursley's who could claim something to him, and his fathers best friend on top of everything. Sirius had done everything for him since he'd been here to try and show Harry all he wanted to do was be close to him for his father's sake, yet was he just doing that out of an old obligation? He had no reason to actually care about Harry himself as any more than a duty while he was around. Once he was let out of Azkaban back in their world, he probably wouldn't spare Harry a thought.

Sirius nodded to what Harry had said, regrettably admitting to this as well. "You're right, I should have said that myself. I was going to wait until my name was clear and I could act on it, I wanted to say it to you myself and tell you how much that meant to me then and now, and how much I've regretted never doing anything about it long before now. I was too guilty, I couldn't think past myself, I just can't seem to do anything right by you," he finished, his face crumpling as he turned away.

Harry watched the remorse, and he couldn't cling to his anger anymore, as he rushed forward and hugged Sirius.


	6. Blame

Takes place after Owl Post Again

* * *

"You think you're the only one who blames himself!"

Remus had yet been mad at Sirius for blaming him, but the guilt eating Sirius alive in here wasn't going to let him ignore this anymore. "I wasn't there! I came back, and, and everyone I cared about was dead, or-" he broke off, pinching at the bridge of his nose and trying to force himself to stop shouting. Instead he finished in a whisper, "I've hated myself for the past ten years thinking I did something to you, I somehow pushed you into-"

"You always were an idiot," Sirius told him hollowly. He still wasn't looking at him, as Remus turned back around desperately for some kind of answer after all these years, but that was nothing new in here. "It was my fault, all of it! I never told you what was happening because I was afraid you were tempted by all they were offering, anyone in your position would be! I stopped talking to you, I convinced everyone to do the same because I thought I was protecting you from them, and them from you, and, and it was, it'll always be, everyone, every time I look at him you don't think I realize it's all my fault!" His face crumpled, and he buried away into his hands.

Remus couldn't stand it anymore, and he covered the distance and sat down beside him, reaching out for him, and this time he didn't hesitate to pull Sirius into his chest. Sirius didn't pull away, he couldn't have. He clung instead, to the last person on earth who could possibly understand. Remus didn't let go, his own burning pain finally slipping out after all these years, as the two were finally able to mourn a loss they had to accept.


	7. Ultimatums Never Work

Beginning chapter for The Riddle House

* * *

Sirius awoke the next morning feeling more content than he had in a very long time, and it did not stretch much to understand why. He tried to not let his mind grasp the idea quite yet, knowing the moment he did it would be gone, so instead he lingered in the shallows of unconsciousness as long as he could, until a soft snore truly made his eyes flutter open.

He woke up curled into Remus' chest, like so many years ago, like so many nights when it all seemed like too much. Remus was still snoring gently, and in all the time here Sirius had yet seen his face so serene. The years had been no kinder to him than to the prisoner. His light brown hair so flecked beyond its years it was a mess, only just more kept together than Sirius' now. The dark circles under his eyes looked more like permanint buising, and while lying atop him Sirius could practiaclly feel every injury he'd done to himself over the years.

His hands were still wrapped tight around his waist just like Remus' were, and he allowed himself just one more second to live out this dream before he felt the ice taking over as he tried to pull away.

Remus began to stir, his face settling back into that now familiar frown, his head flopping over to the other side and his mouth hanging open now as he continued to snore, his arms only trying to circle tighter around Sirius. His resolution broke at once, and he relaxed back into the comforting grip no matter how ghost like it still felt to him, and Remus' face eased at once back into that calm missing from his life.

So instead, Sirius did some thinking.

...

The two wandered into the kitchen, Remus trailing behind rubbing the heal of his hand into his eyes still and his other hand trailing the wall for support, he could have been sleep walking as far as they knew. The act of being frozen in time two days before a full moon seemed to be doing as much to him physically as hearing of all these things happening to Harry!

So he missed the beaming smile Harry gave them upon entrance, but Sirius didn't, and he returned it easily, all the more stunned at his fortune when his godson got up and went uneasily to give him a shy hug in front of everyone.

Sirius returned it enthusiastically before he said for him alone, "how'd you sleep?"

Harry just grinned, flattening his hair for a moment before muttering back, "didn't have a nightmare."

Sirius nodded in relief, one of the thoughts passing through his mind was again how selfish he'd been sleeping through a whole night and not checking on this, but thankfully Harry had slept soundly, seemed everyone had for once.

Tonks accidentally knocked a plate off the table then, and Arthur seemed to decide that was enough for breakfast. He and most of the group left for the other room, and Harry waited until Sirius gave him a nod and a wink before following his friends in. Sirius sat at the table like he was going to eat a quick bowl, but no one had failed to notice Dumbledore hadn't yet left either.

"So, now Harry knows all we can give him," Dumbledore tried to start pleasantly, but Sirius at once picked this lone statement apart.

"Not hardly. He knows why I haven't been around for him, but I've still got years worth of things he deserves to know about his parents. I'm still going to claim rights as his godfather, and now Arthur's going to turn that rat in for the piece of filth it is." He finished in a very forced gleeful tone, "so it looks like I won't be needing your help with anything."

Remus had stayed in the doorway this whole time, first watching Harry and Sirius with peace, and now watching these two confront each other again and feeling the need for a fire extinguisher.

It helped nothing Dumbledore's tone wasn't even trying for the same pleasantness as Sirius'. "I'm sorry you feel that way, but it really is for the best that Harry at least stays with his relatives, at his home for one month of the year, he needs to claim that as his home-"

"No, he does not." Sirius snapped, dropping the manner as well and thumping his fist on the table. He was already so angry he didn't even seem to realize it was his injured hand. "That's not a home! That's not his family! I won't lie to him again Dumbledore, and I told him he's not going back there!"

Dumbledore penciled his fingers together tightly as he matched his glare, but then switched to an even, calm voice no matter how forced it felt. "Perhaps I shall finally tell you why then. I'm sorry I chose not to before now, but I wasn't yet sure of your trustworthiness again. Despite the fact you were not the one to do those things you were accused of, I had no more proof of your innocence, you and Pettigrew could have simply had a falling out-"

He stopped abruptly at the murderous look on the still criminals face, and chose his next words carefully. "I do know better now, and I speak accordingly. Harry has a blood ward protection around Petuina Dursley. In both sharing blood with Lily Evans, the two are safer when they can claim one roof than any protection I could ever offer in any other place. You take that away Sirius, and no matter where you go, you will have Voldemort himself and all of his followers on your door someday. I was only doing what I saw best for him."

"Well that's no longer your decision!" Sirius thundered, clearly unimpressed with this. "What those people did to my godson will not be tolerated again, they'll be lucky if I let them live through it already! We'll find some other way to keep-"

"Sirius please, you must think of the larger world-"

"I don't care about them!" Sirius was on his feet now with no clue how he'd gotten there, any vague form of politeness forgotten. "I don't care about anyone else anymore! No one certainly gave a damn about me while I was rotting away in a hell I shouldn't have been! I'll find a way to keep him safe without you!"

He stormed out then, and Remus watched him go with a little nod. He didn't know if Sirius had caught it, but he turned to Dumbledore and finished for him, "perhaps you should try offering some alternative rather than flat out laying down rules. You better than anyone should know how well that works on him," then he too left.


	8. Again

This is a compilation of the last three books below.

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Remus felt so much boiling up inside of him he wasn't sure if he wanted to punch him or... it came to him in a rush, what he knew he'd wanted to do the moment Sirius had been in front of him again but he'd never have acknowledged before he realized Sirius' true innocence. Remus leaned forward, and he kissed him.

Azkaban had diminished a lot of things about Sirius, but still somehow the feel of his lips were familiar. Even as Sirius' hand flitted up and curled into the collar of his shirt, his nails almost playfully flicking where the skin turned from neck to shoulder. Then just as fast, Remus was shoved away, and Sirius stood there panting in front of him.

"Not again," he hissed, those eyes weren't focused on anything in the room. "I won't let this happen to me again."

Without waiting a second to explain, he stalked out of the room, again.

...

"If you're going to keep cornering me to-"

"I'm sorry Sirius," he apologized before he could get a full head of steam going. "I shouldn't have done that, and I'm not going to do it again, I swear."

Sirius was dumbfounded, Remus was actually apologizing for kissing him? Then again, Sirius had refused to explain why it bothered him so much, and he could easily see Remus drawing all the wrong conclusions from it...but still, if that's what he wanted to think, Sirius wasn't going to stop him. It was safer this way.

...

"What changed?" Remus desperately demanded as Sirius refused to meet his eyes. "Please, Padfoot, I just want to understand. You, you weren't afraid of me when I told you I was a monster-"

Sirius met his eyes then, that dark gray color the only thing in the world he could see.

"You can hurt me now," was all he said.

Remus' eyes slammed shut. He'd already known from the moment the truth had been spoken he'd never forgive himself for his mistake, and now it was clear Sirius never would as well, not as if he deserved it; yet some small part of him had been secretly wishing for just this. Now he knew it would never come.

...

They still had a lot to talk about. It wasn't even hearing of the way he'd pass on, they refused to take these events as Harry's inevitable future, and their own. Somehow though, the painstaking, _real_ feeling Remus had felt of hearing Sirius be taken from him meant he wasn't going to pass another opportunity, and finally, Sirius took his hand with that same smile. He'd already learned to trust again in Harry, that innocent child meant more to his life, was his only life...but maybe he could still add to it.

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I regret not doing six and seven most of all just for this pairing!


	9. The Return

The Return

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Dumbledore found himself back in his office, McGonagall gesturing wildly at the two solme faced red heads before him. A crooked smile played behind his beard as he watched the twins, both wholesome, alive and well while trying to look as innocent as possible. Dumbledore let his twinkling eyes fall from them to his deputy headmistress, and cleared his throat. He had a lot of work to get started.

...

Charlie's knees buckled as he found himself back in the Entrance Hall, a Hufflepuff he'd never spoken to patting him on the shoulder suddenly and promising it would be okay, no need to pass out. Charlie's eyes instead went to focus on another Hufflepuff, and he had to fight every impulse he had not to launch himself forward and tackle her in a hug of assurance she really was still standing there in her dragon hide boots at seventeen, just about to take an exam, hardly the biggest thing to happen in her future. Her exotic eyes met him, and they shared a smile.

...

Remus sat bolt upright in bed, and swung the covers free in that same movement, sprinting out the door without glancing up at the sky, for once.

...

Sirius felt like he was being slammed back into his cell, though in reality he was in the exact same position as when his world had been modified. The cold, the emptiness began seeping back into him at once, so much worse than he'd ever imaged in that safe haven, but Sirius fought like he never had before. He flipped into Padfoot, he nestled himself inside the safe warmth of his memories, and he refused to allow the dementors to take him again. They would come. He would come.

...

Hermione's foot knocked into the edge of the street she'd been initially trying to step up on, and she fell to the ground, scraping the heel of her hands raw. It didn't sting, not really. She was to busy beaming down at the sidewalk, and the expression never left her face as she scrambled back to her feet, to race back home and wait eagerly for her friends arrival. Her friends!

...

Ron got a face full of Quaffle, sitting back in the grass hard and rubbing furiously at the mark to blink away the stinging tears and suddenly bloodied nose. His dad was already there, scoping up his youngest son and apologizing, they'd both forgotten all about their game, but Ron quickly waved him off, promising he understood as his dad had far more important things to do. He squeezed his son's shoulder, and still took the precious seconds to escort him to his mother before launching off for the school, to where Percy was now, to fetch a rat before it could do anymore damage to his family.

...

Harry sat upright in his cupboard, panic flooding him as he was once again in the enclosed, dark space. His hand went desperately to his pocket, and curled around a worn peace of parchment. He couldn't see the words anymore, but he'd already memorized them in that room. So instead he sat there in the dark, and he envisioned the loving faces of his godfather and Uncle Moony coming to rescue him, and before he knew it, there was a knock on the front door.


End file.
